Escalante vs. Mac Farland

Other than the obvious differences in appearance and home life, the were many differences between these two teachers.  The both held a different, yet similar style.  They both wanted to have their students succeed and tried in their own way to help them along the process.  Escalante was relentlessly on their backs pushing them into trying harder.  Mac Farland was more of a mentor guiding and helping.  They both let the students make up their own mind, but did it in different ways.

I felt that Mr. Escalante led his classroom step by step, at every step.  He taught the class as a group, in and out of the classroom.  There was lots of lecture with the students working together on a common problem verses reading the large array of books, discussing them and having them write about it.  In math, there is a finite answer.  With literary works, there is much interpretation.  Even papers written from the same book, told to write about specific instances, will yield a wide variety of answers.  Although math and English both require a deep understanding, I believe that it is totally different type of understanding.  Mr. Mac Farland opened the students minds to different ideas.  Ideas that can differ.  I believe that a love for reading is far different than a love for math.  Imagery, vocabulary, traveling to far off lands can be inserted into the imagination.  It can bring a person to places that they would never physically go to in real life. 

Reaction to Part 2 of Stand and Deliver

I watched Stand a deliver a few times in the past and looked forward to watching it again.  This time, because it was part of an assignment, I took care to pay attention to details.

I felt that it was a good inspirational movie.  Although Mr. Escalate was a tough teacher, I felt he was fair.  His students knew what to expect from him, especially since he had them sign a contract.  He asked for a lot of his students; he wanted their  time, dedication and effort.  It may have seemed over the top, but in order for them to achieve the goal of passing the AP Calculus exam, it was necessary.  Otherwise, it would have been a waste of time everyone's time if they did not take it seriously.

In previous blogs, I wrote about how when the students wanted to give up or found that it was too hard, Mr. Escalante took the time to speak with then to remind them why they were going through the trouble.  He wanted his students to succeed.  He knew if they succeeded in the test, the tools they learned would help them in other times when things got tough.  Also, he had faith in them.  He knew that if they passed, it would encourage them to work for greater things in life.

Part two centered around the second year with Mr. Escalante as their teacher.  Against the wishes of a school administrator, he taught the students calculus.  She did not think it was necessary and doubted that the students would succeed.  He fought hard on his stance, even threatening to quit his job. 

When the kids put in all the hard work and passed the test, there was doubt that the kids scored well on their own.  They all scored very high and they got the same incorrect answers.  That led to a scandal about cheating.  Even when the administrator showed her doubt about the kids doing an honest job, Mr. Escalante stood by his students and their work.  The investigation did not go well.  The students decided to retake the test, even though they only had one day to study.  Even the second test was scrutinized.  In the end, all students passed.

I found myself upset during certain parts of the movie, feeling bad for the students.  I am glad that everything turned out in their favor.

Group Discussion: Stand and Deliver

Single Scene, Second half of movie.

The scene discussed which was a great example of good teaching, was the scene where Mr. Escalante went to the Educational Testing Service (ETS) building to demand to see the tests that his students took. As he entered he was greeted by Dr. Pearson, and Dr. Rameriez whom were the two men that went to the school to investigate the conspiracy that had occurred, the investigators told Escalante that all students got fewer than five wrong on their tests... that the average answers answered wrong in other schools range from 10-14 incorrect. They stated that the class also finished the test with plenty of time to spare. They were nice to say that they had no proof of wrong doing they only have suspicion of cheating.  Furthermore the investigators told Escalante that the problem wasn’t with him it is with the ETS and the students. Escalante stated that he is the teacher and he knows his kids and he wants to see the tests, and that if they all made the same mistakes maybe it is because they all had the same teacher, and he taught them step by step calculus. Escalante accuses them of racism stating that if this were the beverly hills school, they wouldn't be second guessing those students,  Dr. Pearson got very offended as he grew up in that area of living as well. The discussion got heated and Escalante leaves the room leaving behind few words to catch their attention. "If I catch you on the street I'm gonna kick the shit out of you!"- J.Escalante

Was Mr. Escalante a Good Teacher?

I believe that Mr. Jaime Escalate from the movie "Stand and Deliver" was a good teacher.  He expected dedication and discipline from his students knowing that they would get a good return on their investment.  He also pushed them to do their best and go beyond what they thought that they were capable of.  He believed in them and their abilities.  He made sure everyone knew the rules and made it to class to learn.  He made a contract that he expected the students to follow even though the terms were tough. 

Whenever anyone felt like they wanted to leave and give up, he talked them into staying.  When Angel wanted to join a fight that his gang was involved in, Mr. Escalante held him back so that he would not get in trouble.  Also, when Angel did not want to be seen carrying books, Escalante made sure he had a book for class, home and his locker.  When Claudia left the class, he followed her to talk with her about her issues.  When Ana felt like she was forced to drop put of school to work at her family's restaurant, Mr. Escalante took the time to talk to her father to convince him that staying in school would help the family business better in the long run.  He even went out on a drive with Pancho to prove a point, "All you see is the turn, not the road ahead."

When students struggled with their life outside the classroom, he took the time to turn their attention to the big  picture, life beyond the classroom and high school.  He knew that if they succeeded in high school and moved on to college, they would have a better chance of getting better jobs in the future.  He wanted them to raise the standards for their life.

Notes: Stand and Deliver

Based on a true story, this movie begins with scenes of the main character, Jaime Escalante, during his commute to school where is to teach computer science at Garfield High in East Los Angeles.  It gives a sense of the type of environment in which the inner-city students that attend the school live.  Escalante arrives at the school expecting to teach computer science.  The school has been promised funding for computers for a couple years but still do not have the funding to acquire them.  He is instead enlisted to teach basic math.  He is introduced to a classroom full of unruly students.  At the end of the day, he finds that his car is broken into and the radio is stolen. We learn that he worked for a good company and quit his job to teach high school.

Escalante uses apples as visual aids to teach his class fractions.  He also watches them outside of the classroom to gain perspective of the lives of his students.  He tries communicate with his students to show that he means business.  He doesn't let them run all over him. 

He decides that basic math is not enough for his students to learn and decides to teach them algebra.  He uses a visual of a digging and filling hole at the beach as an example of the mathematical equation "-2 +2".

 "Did you know that neither the Greeks nor the Romans were capable of using the concept of zero? It was your ancestors, the Mayans, who first contemplated the zero. The absence of value. True story. You 'burros' have math in your blood... A negative times a negative equals a positive. Why?"

 "Students will rise to the level of expectations..."

"...There will be no free rides, no excuses. You already have two strikes against you: your name and your complexion. Because of those two strikes, there are some people in this world who will assume that you know less than you do. Math is the great equalizer... When you go for a job, the person giving you that job will not want to hear your problems; ergo, neither do I. You're going to work harder here than you've ever worked anywhere else. And the only thing I ask from you is 'ganas'. Desire....If you don't have the 'ganas', I will give it to you because I'm an expert."

Many of the students have responsibilities outside of school such as jobs and helping to take care of family members such as grandparents, parents and siblings.  Sophia sees her parents off to work and takes care of her siblings.  Angel takes care of his sick grandmother.  Ana works as a waitress at her family's business.

"It's not that they're stupid, it's just they don't know anything."

During a meeting between teachers, Escalante announces that he want to teach calculus next school year.  The other teachers laugh and ridicule his idea.  Raquel, a school administrator says, "I'm thinking about those kids.  If they try and don't succeed, you'll shatter what little self confidence they have.  These aren't the types, that a, that bounce back."  Escalante decides to teach summer school in order to prepare his students to take calculus the following school year. 

As the new school year starts, Escalante starts his calculus classes.  "Calculus was not made to be easy. It already is."  He makes his students sign a contract.  They promise to attend calculus an hour before school, 2 hours in class, stay after school until 5 and go to class on Saturday without taking vacations.

"All you can see is the turn, don't see the road ahead."

He teaches ESL at night to adults and has a mild attack during class.  His math class tries to learn without him.  A conversation that turns into a fight.  The AP Calculus exam in two weeks.  His doctor says no stress and job related activity for two months.  After 2 days away in the hospital, he sneaks into the class room to applause. 

The class takes the test and celebrates at the beach afterwards.  Test scores arrive by mail for the advanced placement calculus test.  No other HS has more passing students than Garfield HS.  All 18 took test and passed.  The students present a plaque to the teacher.

Later the students are accused of cheating.  There was an agreement of the incorrect answers; all students made the same mistakes.  They averaged less than four wrong answers.  Doubt ensues that the grades are valid.  The students start sabotaging lives because of anger over situation.

 They are interrogated by officers by Pearson and Ramirez from the Educational Testing Service to see if anyone will "tell the truth".  Escalante anonymously receives a Letter of Resignation in his box.

 Escalante has a conversation with his wife.  He feels that he made a mistake by teaching calculus.  He feels that if you try real hard, nothing changes.  He feels his students lost confidence in the system that they qualify to be part of.  He wants them to make twice the money for less hours and be treated with respect.

 "Students will rise to the level of expectation..."

 Escalante approaches the ETS and says, "Those scores would have never been questioned if my kids did not have Spanish surnames and come from barrio schools. You know that."

Dr. Pearson says, "There is two kinds of racism, Mr. Escalante. Judging a group because they are a minority, and not judging a group because they are a minority."

Escalate tried to see the tests and ask why they think his students have cheated.  There was no proof of wrong doing, only a suspicion of cheating.  Racism...discrimination.

The students decide to take the test again with one day to review.  The test will be harder.  They take the second test while proctored by the people who are investigating.  The tests are scrutinized to make sure that there are no discrepancies.  Everyone passes.  Escalante says, “I want the original scores reinstated."

Each subsequent year, more and more students pass the AP Calculus exam at Garfield High School.

Her Teachers: According to Audre Lorde

Audre Lorde has interesting stories about her early education from the children's librarian, her mother, and teachers from the sight-conservation kindergarten and a catholic school.  She had a hard time with these teachers.  They did not understand her.  She was always getting in trouble.  It was hard to read how she got reprimanded time after time.  No one took the time to dig deeper to see what was behind her perceived naughtiness; she was not trying to do wrong, she was just misunderstood.
 
Lorde illustrates Mrs. Augusta Baker, the children's librarian, as patient by stating, "Mrs. Baker read me Madeline, and Horton Hatches the Egg, both of which rhymed and had huge lovely pictures which I could see from behind my newly acquired eyeglasses, fastened around the back of my rambunctious head by a black elastic band running from earpiece to earpiece (22)."  She then refers to her as helpful by saying,  "My mother accepted the alpha-bet and picture books Mrs. Baker gave her for me, and I was on my way. (23)"

She then talks about the experiences she had at home with her mother teaching her the alphabet and how to write her name.  She shows her mother as strict by writing, "She told me stories about his strictness as she taught me how to print my name. (24)" and she elaborates by stating, "No deviation was allowed from her interpretations of correct. (24)"

The teacher at the sight-conservation kindergarten showed a lack of empathy by saying, "Imagine that, a big girl like you. Such a shame, I'll have to tell your mother that you won't even try. And such a big girl like you! (25)"  Later Lorde writes, "The next morning at school, the teacher told my mother that she did not think that I was ready yet for kindergarten, because I couldn't follow directions, and I wouldn't do as I was told. (27)"

After her mother convinces the catholic school to take her in, she goes on to describe her new teacher.  "My first grade teacher was named Sister Mary of Perpetual Help, and she was a disciplinarian of the first order, right after my mother's own heart. A week after I started school she sent a note home to my mother asking her not to dress me in so many layers of clothing because then I couldn't feel the strap on my behind when I was punished. (27)"  She also goes on the describe her as running, "...the first grade with an iron hand in the shape of a cross (27)."  She elaborates about other disparaging experiences she has in the class.

I felt sad that Audre Lorde went through such a tough time in her early experiences with school.  With an exception of the librarian, her early teachers were quite cruel.  I know that the era in which the book was written is of a different day and age where teachers were strict and allowed to use corporal punishment.  Although I was not surprised about her experiences, I still found it quite disturbing.

What I Think Makes a Good Teacher

A teacher's effectiveness can be measured by the results of the students they teach.  If a student has been taught effectively, they will exhibit an adequate amount of knowledge in the subject that is taught.  I think a good teacher has the type of heart to want to make a connection with their students; to not only inspire the them do their best, but to go beyond their abilities and grow. 

Many different attributes make up a good teacher.  I believe that a good teacher takes the time to gain insight on his or her students' strengths and weaknesses.  It is important that a teacher not only is trained in different teaching styles, but has the ability to know which style to use according to the type of student he or she is instructing.  Not all minds work alike.  A teacher needs to take the time to get to know their students in order to offer them what they need in order to learn. 


I realize that it would be difficult for a teacher to have the time to give each and every student one on one attention.  That being said, the teacher should have various resources at their disposal to offer to the student.  The teacher needs to make sure the student is pointed towards the proper direction.  Most of all, I think a teacher should give a student the freedom to follow their own path towards the goal even if the path has many twists and turns, as long as the destination is clear and concise.  It is a great feat to overcome the challenges involved and have the expectations of both the teacher and the student met.

A teacher is only as effective as the results from the students they teach.  When the student is successful because of their teachings, instead of in spite of it, it is a reflection of the teacher.  It shows that the student has been taught well. 

Brainstorming for Paper #2

As I sit in front of my computer trying to come up with ideas for my second paper, my mind is blank.  It is not that I haven't given the subject much thought, before I received all the details about this assignment, I had a certain idea about the direction I wanted to take with it.  I soon found out that what I intended to write about did not necessarily fit the criteria for this assignment.  I am sure the final paper would have been great in its own way, but not for this application.  I am now back to the drawing board.  I guess it is better to find this out now than later, when I would have invested so much time and energy in this project, only to have to change direction later.

School has never been a fun place for me, at least not academically.  It was more of a social playground, especially in high school.  Although, I have many instances to choose material from my past educational experiences, I graduated from high school almost twenty-five years ago, in 1990.  To some of my college classmates, K-12 would literally seem as it were just yesteryear.  With my experiences being so long ago, my memories are vague.  I am sure I could come up with adequate examples with the use of some poetic license.  Or perhaps each teacher will end up being a mix of several, as I try my best to sort through the details.

Whoever I decide to write about, I am not sure, but they would have made an impact in my life.  Whatever details I can recollect, I will have had to dig deep.  Whenever I come up with the inspiration, I hope that it is soon.  Where ever that may be, I will have to stop what I am doing and write.  Why?  Because that is how my brain works.  I have to be in the right mood. However this plays out, it'll happen when my frame of mind is in the right place.   Only then, I will produce something that is worth sharing.

What Makes Good and Bad Teaching

All People Are Different, We Should Embrace It

• I think good teaching comes from taking all the parts of all the people's minds into consideration.  We not only need to teach things according to the way the majority works, but also utilize approaches that take the individual person's mind and how it works into account as well.  Everyone is not the same.  There should not be a one size fits all approach. 

• It is a shame to squander someone's talents because popular opinion of what is important is different.  Just because you believe something is important it does not mean that everyone should, or must, agree.  I think that people should be allowed to follow their ideas and see where it takes them without someone telling them that what they think is foolish, wrong, or not important. 

• Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses.  We can't all be strong in every area every time.   The weaknesses of an individual can be made up by the strengths of another.  It all balances out.  The world can become a better place when we all work together.

What Readers Should Know About My First Formal Paper

For my first formal paper, I was supposed to include a thesis statement.  I neglected to do so. 

The main thing that I want the readers to understand about my first formal paper is that can you overcome shyness.  Confidence can be acquired through life experiences.  Shyness will lessen in severity if you put yourself in situations where you can learn how to overcome it.  You need to find ways to achieve it.  It takes time.  It doesn't happen overnight.  All of this is significant because I know that if I can do it, anyone else can, too.  All you have to do is make a conscious effort to try.

Formal Paper #1 – Final Draft

Overcoming Shyness Through Confidence

 

 

          To say that I was a shy child would be an understatement.  When I was little, I would sit beside my mother and watch the other children play.  If they would approach me and ask me to play with them, I would hide behind her.  More often than not, by the time I finally gathered the courage to join in on the fun, it was almost time to go home.

 

          My father was in the U.S. Navy.  We moved around quite a bit.  Every 2-3 years, he would be assigned to another duty station.  Two separate times I attended 3 different schools in the same school year.   Between kindergarten and sixth grade, I attended six different elementary schools.  My father’s last duty station was the hardest for me.  When he retired, we lived near a Navy town.  Being a “navy brat”, I was used to constantly being on the move.   Children of military personnel share a certain kind of camaraderie.  We had to say “hello” and “good-bye” to people often.  In this area, the kids grew up together.  Most have known each other since preschool.  I was an outsider.  Because of my shyness, I had a tough time making friends. 

 

 

          I was an awkward preteen.  I got along better with adults more than my peers.  While in school, I was ridiculed for being different.  I was also a tomboy.  During my eighth grade year, my mother enrolled me in a modeling school in Seattle.  Not necessarily because I was beautiful, but to help me learn how to act like a young lady.  I learned how to do my hair and make-up and carry myself with poise and confidence.  Or at least appear as if I had those attributes.  After modeling school, I participated in three pageants. I took speech and drama classes, sang in the choir and performed on the drill team.  Although I never became a super model, have been crowned queen, got a record deal or danced with the stars, these experiences helped me gain confidence in myself and gave me the ability to overcome my shyness.

 

          My senior year in high school, I took a cosmetology course through the vocational skills center.  I didn’t finish beauty school.  I realized that I enjoyed getting my hair done more than I enjoyed doing other people’s hair.  I found that it was hard to be in such close contact with customers while providing shampoos, haircuts, color, and other services.  I was nervous about my capabilities and afraid of customers not liking my work.

 

About a year later, I attended the local community college. I took jazz dance, math, science and psychology courses.  I found the subject of psychology fascinating.  I loved learning about how the mind works.  I learned that positive self talk greatly affects your self image.  I tried hard to stay positive about all aspects of my life   

 

After a few quarters of school, I got married to my high school sweetheart and started a family.  School was put on hold.  That relationship did not work out.  After a few years, I was a single mom with 2 young children.  I needed a way to support myself.  I decided to go back to school to become a medical assistant.  I was always interested in the medical field.  I graduated from school and got a job at a small doctor’s office.  Working in the medical field, you are exposed to people of all ages who are not feeling well and are in need of care.  You need to show confidence in yourself in order for the patient to trust in your abilities. 

 

I met my current husband while I was still attending school. Within a few months of getting married, I became pregnant with our first child.  I decided to become a stay at home mom and concentrated my efforts on the family.  I am now the mother of seven children.  I have six sons and one daughter between the ages of 4 and 21 years old.  I never planned to have so many.  I have always wanted a daughter.  My husband and I tried and tried.  We were finally blessed with a daughter as our fifth child.  Twice, we tried to give her a sister, but she gained two more brothers instead.  Being the only girl she is tough, just like one of the boys.  I have tried to teach her some lessons on how to behave like a young woman.  I tried my best to teach my children the lessons I have learned for myself.

 

I would like to believe that I raised my kids to be confident and without fear of speaking of what is on their mind.  They certainly are not shy.  I am proud that they are able to socialize and easily make friends.  It is natural when you have a network of “friends” built into your family.  As much as they fight as siblings, outside the home they know they have each others’ backs.  I am proud to be their mother and have faith that I have raised some wonderful kids.

 

After a twenty year hiatus, I returned to the same community college.  I had always planned on it.  I kept putting it off as more children kept coming into my life.  I finally was inspired to return to school.  The psychology professor that I took so many years ago was teaching a course that I was interested in.  I could not pass up on the opportunity.  My husband has been very supportive with my return to school.

 

In taking the abnormal psychology class I learned a great deal about myself as a person, wife, and mother.  I know my role in the home is important.  The way that I treat and nurture my children has the biggest impact on how they develop into adults and eventually parents.  Of course, this was known to me, but the class armed me with the insight and tools to purposefully do a more effective job.

 

The following quarter, I took a public speaking class.  Many people would find speaking in front of a large crowd a challenge.  I was nervous, but it wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be.  I actually enjoyed it.  I learned how to effectively use my voice to speak about topics that were important to me.  Although I must admit, the thought of speaking in front of an audience is still terrifying to me.  I don’t think that will ever change.

 

The other day, I met a professor that teaches acting classes.  I joked around with him.  I informed him that I took a public speaking course the previous quarter and that his class sounded like the next logical step.  He told me that I seemed like the kind of person who could do well in his class.  I think so, too.  I definitely am not shy.

My life has been full of lessons in self improvement.  I sure have come a long way from the shy little girl that I used to be.

Strategies to Develop My Educational Narrative

Reflecting on what it took to write my first formal paper brings me anxiety.  We were given examples of narratives to guide us in the type of work our instructor was expecting to see from us.  We also had reading assignments from our text along with in class exercises to guide us in putting our work together. 

 

Try as I might, I could not settle on a specific topic of which to write.  I had a general idea of my topic, but needed to narrow it down to specifics because I felt that I could not possibly write what I needed to say in a mere 1,000- 1,200 words.  It may sound like a large amount of words but in order to say what I felt necessary, in the depth that I had planned to write, that number did not seem to be enough.  The opposite could also be true.  I needed to find a topic in which I had enough material to write about. 

 

I originally planned to write about judging others.  My first blog post about my paper was about that subject.  That topic led me to friendship for another brainstorming session.  I also did a blog post on honesty.  While these topics can relate to my original plan, they seemed disconnected.  I needed something to connect them together and create some sort of transition between them.  I thought about it for some time. 

 

Reading the assigned exercises for our text, I had a hard time following the directions when it came to doing my essay.  How could I follow the processes detailed in the book in regard to putting together the first rough draft?  Especially when I felt that I had already said what I wanted to say in my prewriting exercises.  I would just combine the pre-writings to form the final paper.  The draft would be redundant.  In vain, I tried to find ways to follow strategies from the book for my elusive topic.  Some may have thought that I was procrastinating, but I was actually genuinely stuck on how to proceed.

 

In the end, I just wrote.  I didn’t follow any of the cues in which we were given. I didn’t use my previous writings in my draft.  I did what I usually do, go off on a tangent.  As always, my mind wanders, I get into a project having a certain goal in mind, and I end up with a final product that has nothing to do with my original intent.  It happens all the time.  As I see it, I need wait until I am inspired.  When I am, the work just flows with minimal effort.  Whatever comes out in at the end is usually a surprise to me.  I just hope, whatever final product comes out in the end turns out to be good.  And if I am lucky, it may even be great.

Formal Paper #1 - Rough Draft

Overcoming Shyness

 

          To say that I was a shy child would be an understatement.  When I was little, I would sit beside my mother and watch the other children play.  If they would approach me and ask me to play with them, I would hide behind her.  More often than not, by the time I finally gathered the courage to join in the fun, it was almost time to go home.

 

          My father was in the U.S. Navy.  We moved around quite a bit.  Every 2-3 years, he would be assigned to another duty station.  Two separate times I attended 3 different schools in the same school year.   Between kindergarten and sixth grade, I attended six different elementary schools. 

 

          My father’s last duty station was the hardest for me.  When he retired, we lived near a Navy town.  Being a “navy brat”, I was used to constantly being on the move.   Children of military personnel share a certain kind of camaraderie.  We had to say “hello” and “good-bye” to people often.  In this area, the kids grew up together.  Most have known each other since preschool.  I was an outsider.  Because of my shyness, I had a tough time making friends.  The cliques had been established long before I had arrived.

 

          In the sixth grade, I started hanging out with a group of girls that belonged to the popular crowd.  Once I got to know them, and found out what they were really like, I decided that I did not like them that much at all.  They were mean.  I started spending time people who were nicer instead.  The first group of girls were not happy.  After that day, I was ostracized.  They tormented me all through junior high and high school.

 

          I was an awkward preteen.  I got along better with adults more than my peers.  While in school, I was ridiculed for being different.  I was also a tomboy.  During my eighth grade year, my mother enrolled me in a modeling school in Seattle.  Not necessarily because I was beautiful, but to help me learn how to act like a young lady.  I learned how to do my hair and make-up and carry myself with poise and confidence.  Or at least appear as if I had those attributes.  After modeling school, I participated in three pageants. I took speech and drama classes, sang in the choir and performed on the drill team.  Although I never became a super model, have been crowned queen, got a record deal or danced with the stars, these experiences helped me gain confidence in myself and gave me the ability to overcome my shyness.

 

          My senior year in high school, I took a cosmetology course through the vocational skills center.  I didn’t finish beauty school.  I realized that I enjoyed getting my hair done more than I enjoyed doing other people’s hair.  I was also afraid of customers not liking my work.

 

About a year later, I attended the local community college. I took jazz dance, math, science and psychology courses.  I found the subject of psychology fascinating.  I loved learning about how the mind works.  After a few quarters of school, I got married to my high school sweetheart and started a family.  School was put on hold.

 

That relationship did not work out.  After a few years, I was a single mom with 2 young children.  I needed a way to support myself.  I decided to go back to school to become a medical assistant.  I was always interested in the medical field.  I met my husband.  I graduated and got a job at a small doctor’s office.  Within a few months, I became pregnant with our first child.  I decided to become a stay at home  mom and concentrated my efforts on the family.

 

I am now the mother of seven children.  I have six sons and one daughter between the ages of 4 and 21 years old.  I never planned to have so many.  I have always wanted a daughter.  My husband and I tried and tried.  We were finally blessed with a daughter as our fifth child.  Twice, we tried to give her a sister, but she gained two brothers instead.  Being the only girl, she is tough, just like one of the boys.  I have tried to teach her some lessons on how to behave like a young woman.

 

I would like to believe that I raised my kids to be confident and without fear of speaking of what is on their mind.  They certainly are not shy.  I am proud that they are able to socialize and easily make friends.  It is natural when you have a network of “friends” built into your family.  As much as they fight as siblings, outside the home they know they each have each others’ backs.  I am proud to be their mother and have faith that I have raised some wonderful kids.

 

After a twenty year hiatus, I returned to the same community college.  I had always planned on it.  I kept putting it off as more children kept coming into my life.  I finally was inspired to return to school when I saw that the psychology professor that I took so many years ago was teaching a course that I was interested in near my home.  I could not pass up the opportunity.  My husband has been very supportive with my return to school.

 

In taking the abnormal psychology class, I learned a great deal about myself, as a person and as a wife and mother.  I know my role in the home is important.  The class brought to light that the way that I treat and nurture my children has just about the biggest impact there is when it comes to how my children turn out as adults and eventually parents.  Of course, this was known to me, but the class armed me with the insight and tools to purposively do a more effective job.

 

The following quarter, I took a public speaking class.  Of course, many people would find speaking in front of a crowd a challenge.  I was nervous, but it wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be.  I actually enjoyed it.  I learned how to effectively use my voice to speak about topics that were important to me.  Although, I must admit, the thought of speaking in front of an audience is still horrifying to me.  I don’t think that will ever change.

 

The other day, I met a professor that teaches acting classes.  I joked around with him.  I informed him that I took a public speaking course the previous quarter and that his class sounded like the next logical step.  He told me that I seemed like the kind of person who could do well in his class.  I think so, too.  I definitely am not shy.

Finding Friendship

                      

Trying to be a good friend has taken much of my lifetime. Learning began with the first relationships I had with my parents when I was a newborn. When my siblings were born, I learned how to communicate and interact with them. As a child, I had a few friends in my neighborhood. It was interesting to see how their family differed from my own; both physically and socially. Again, I gained even more insight on more people when I started school. Each individual person was different.


In meeting new people, I have had to adjust my way of thinking and behavior to adapt to relationships outside of my family unit. It was unfamiliar territory and I had to make adjustments. Some people held similar ideals and attitudes as me and we became fast friends. We had many things in common. With other people, our personalities clashed. This is possibly because our differences made us uncomfortable around each other. I gravitated to staying around people who were within my comfort zone. My inclination to choose certain groups to spend my time with also had to do with how comfortable others felt around me.


Over the years, some friendships have come and gone. Others are still intact today. As people change and evolve, each relationship is sure to change. Hopefully for the better.

Learning About the Truth

            I have always thought of myself to be an honest person.  I expect that others are also honest with me.  I have been disappointed many times.  Whenever anyone shares information with me, I expect that they are being truthful.  Sadly, that is not always the case.  In sharing myself, I have been left vulnerable and open to be hurt.  Sometimes, it is not my words, but my face that gives it all away.  I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I can be too trusting.  I just want to be real.  And I falsely hold the belief that everyone is being real with me.

          I have put myself into situations where my mouth had gotten me in trouble.  I have been known to blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind.  I know I need to think before I speak.  It is a struggle to keep my thoughts to myself.  It is also tough for me to hold back my emotions.  It has been said that if you can’t say anything nice, you shouldn’t say anything at all.  Trying to fix a situation where you said too much can be nearly impossible.  Silence is golden.  Sometimes keeping your thoughts to yourself is best.  Some thoughts should be kept private.

          I honestly love people and want what’s best for them.  When I speak, it comes from my heart.  Being honest with everyone is a good policy because you never have to remember what you said to someone.  You don’t need to cover-up lies or half truths.  But words can be misunderstood.  I have hurt people with my honest thoughts and opinions.  I have left myself open to criticism from others.  I wish others weren’t so judgmental.

          The definition of learning is a change in behavior due to experience.  I need to learn how to handle myself better when it comes to my verbal outbursts.  I hope to someday know when to speak the truth or keep the truth to myself.

The Educational Narrative That I Liked Best

            Of the five educational narratives that we were assigned to read, the one I liked the most was Malcolm X’s “Learning to Read”.  Although, in previous blog posts I criticized the appearance because it was only text, I thought his writing was the most clear and concise.  The content of the material in this essay taught me more about him and his experiences than the other examples.  I found his descriptions to be vivid.  They drew me in and painted numerous “word pictures” in my mind.  I felt like I could relate to his words.  Through his hardships, I felt compassion; I felt his pain and concern.

            I believe that if the essay was written as a blog or newspaper article with pictures to compliment the narrative, it would make it more visually appealing to want to read.  Truthfully, I only read his work because it was an assignment.  I am glad that I had the opportunity.

            I felt that his experiences had a significant lesson and I enjoy learning things that can teach me how I can improve my life.  I found his writing to be not just inspirational, but enriching.  It teaches a lesson that has no boundaries in relation to an individual reader’s time or status.  His words carry much meaning.

The Differences Between Essays and Blogs

            Comparing the educational narratives in this unit has been a challenge for me.  I am the type of student that finds it difficult to give opinions and my interpretations of other peoples’ works.  I am a literal reader and find it hard to “read between the lines”.  I take most things in life at face value and don’t spend much time looking beneath the obvious top layer.

            I found that the essays, while interesting, were a bit hard to read compared to the blogs.  There was not much to look at during my first glance but a large amount of text.  They were paragraphs utilizing words with no variation in font or color, like a novel.

            The blogs, while technically still essays, seemed more interesting to look at.  It was like reading a magazine or newspaper article with pictures or a children’s book with illustrations.  It was much more inviting.  They drew me in.

            Each writer had their own style.  While they were all interesting in their own way, the way each narrative was presented brought different reactions from me.  For me, the first impression has a big impact.  I could miss out on reading a very interesting book or article just because of my initial reaction to the appearance.