Overcoming Shyness
To say that I
was a shy child would be an understatement.
When I was little, I would sit beside my mother and watch the other
children play. If they would approach me
and ask me to play with them, I would hide behind her. More often than not, by the time I finally gathered
the courage to join in the fun, it was almost time to go home.
My father was
in the U.S. Navy. We moved around quite
a bit. Every 2-3 years, he would be
assigned to another duty station. Two
separate times I attended 3 different schools in the same school year. Between kindergarten and sixth grade, I
attended six different elementary schools.
My father’s
last duty station was the hardest for me.
When he retired, we lived near a Navy town.
Being a “navy brat”, I was used to constantly being on the move. Children
of military personnel share a certain kind of camaraderie. We had to say “hello” and “good-bye” to people
often. In this area, the kids grew up
together. Most have known each other
since preschool. I was an outsider. Because of my shyness, I had a tough time
making friends. The cliques had been
established long before I had arrived.
In
the sixth grade, I started hanging out with a group of girls that belonged to the popular crowd. Once I
got to know them, and found out what they were really like, I decided that I
did not like them that much at all. They were
mean. I started spending time people who
were nicer instead. The first group
of girls were not happy. After that day,
I was ostracized. They tormented me all
through junior high and high school.
I was an
awkward preteen. I got along better with
adults more than my peers. While in
school, I was ridiculed for being different.
I was also a tomboy. During my eighth grade
year, my mother enrolled me in a modeling school in Seattle. Not necessarily because I was beautiful, but
to help me learn how to act like a young lady.
I learned how to do my hair and make-up and carry myself with poise and
confidence. Or at least appear as if I
had those attributes. After modeling
school, I participated in three pageants. I took speech and drama classes, sang
in the choir and performed on the drill team.
Although I never became a super model, have been crowned queen, got a record
deal or danced with the stars, these experiences helped me gain confidence in
myself and gave me the ability to overcome my shyness.
My senior
year in high school, I took a cosmetology course through the vocational skills
center. I didn’t finish beauty school. I realized that I enjoyed getting my hair
done more than I enjoyed doing other people’s hair. I was also afraid of customers not liking my
work.
About a year later, I attended the local community college.
I took jazz dance, math, science and psychology courses. I found the subject of psychology fascinating. I loved learning about how the mind
works. After a few quarters of school, I
got married to my high school sweetheart and started a family. School was put on hold.
That relationship did not work out. After a few years, I was a single mom with 2
young children. I needed a way to
support myself. I decided to go back to school to become a medical assistant. I was always interested in the medical field.
I met
my husband. I graduated and got
a job at a small doctor’s office.
Within a few months, I became pregnant with our first child. I decided to become a stay at home mom and concentrated my
efforts on the family.
I am now the mother of seven children. I have six sons and one daughter between the
ages of 4 and 21 years old. I never
planned to have so many. I have always
wanted a daughter. My husband and I
tried and tried. We were finally blessed
with a daughter as our fifth child. Twice, we tried to give her a sister, but she gained two brothers instead.
Being the only girl,
she is tough, just like one of the boys.
I have tried to teach her some lessons on how to behave like a young woman.
I would like to believe that I raised my kids to be
confident and without fear of speaking of what is on their mind. They certainly are not shy. I am proud that they are able to socialize
and easily make friends. It is natural
when you have a network of “friends” built into your family. As much as they fight as siblings, outside
the home they know they each have each others’ backs. I am proud to be their mother and have faith
that I have raised some wonderful kids.
After a twenty year hiatus, I returned to the same community
college. I had always planned on
it. I kept putting it off as more children
kept coming into my life. I finally was
inspired to return to school when I saw that the psychology professor that I
took so many years ago was teaching a course that I was interested in near my home. I could not pass up the opportunity. My husband has been very supportive with my
return to school.
In taking the abnormal psychology class, I learned a great
deal about myself, as a person and as a wife and mother. I know my role in the home is important. The class brought to light that the way that
I treat and nurture my children has just about the biggest impact there is when
it comes to how my children turn out as adults and eventually parents. Of course, this was known to me, but the
class armed me with the insight and tools to purposively do a more effective
job.
The following quarter, I took a public speaking class. Of course, many people would find speaking in
front of a crowd a challenge. I was nervous, but it wasn’t
as difficult as I thought it would be. I
actually enjoyed it. I learned how to effectively
use my voice to speak about topics that were important to me. Although, I must admit, the thought of speaking
in front of an audience is still horrifying to me.
I don’t think that will ever change.
The other day, I met a professor that teaches acting
classes. I joked around with him. I informed him that I took a public speaking
course the previous quarter and that his class sounded like the next logical step. He told me that I seemed like the kind of
person who could do well in his class. I
think so, too. I definitely am not shy.
oh my goodness! six boys and one girl! that's insane!! go you for having seven kids and still being determined to go back to school and finish your schooling!! i had a similar situation with the girls in high school...not very nice.. i figured hey if you talk about your best friends like that.. what are you saying about me?? so i left that group and was always more of a guy person anyways i felt as if guys made better friends. but thats just me because i was always more of a tomboy anyways.. just dressed more like a girl later on.. haha. i did ballet for 14 years and the girls that i danced with were all very sweet and i made so many good girlfriends along the way, it was just a broader type of crowd you know? more artsy and outgoing, different kinds of cliques, so i had a wide variety of friends in school from all the cliques. very touching story! it kept my attention well!!
ReplyDeleteI can see why moving so much in your earlier years would have been daunting. But it was used for good as you have definitely changed and progressed. I love it that you have 7 children (I have 5) and that shaping them for adult hood is a great priority. You should go for the acting class!! :)
ReplyDeleteI want to get a doctorate in psychology. I have been told that I am a good friend and listener. With my lack of filter, in my voice and facial expression, it is necessary for me to learn how to control my reactions. Acting would be a big help in learning how to play the "role" of a serious psychologist.
DeleteThis was really inspirational for me. I'm not a very outgoing person and find it pretty difficult to make friends because I don't usually go out of my way to talk with people. I feel I'm not as shy as I used to be, but I am still a little shy. I'm glad you over came shyness and are going to do what you find enjoyable.
ReplyDelete